''DOG''
There was this stray dog that I saw at my spot-- a secluded tree on the big field behind the school.
It seemed like they snuck through a hole in the fence. They stanced up, but seemed to warm up when I offered them part of my half-finished lunch from earlier. I guess they were just [[shy.->Shy]]
The more I visited that dog, the more they warmed up to me. It even let me start petting them. It's a shame I wasn't able to bring them [[home->Home]] back then. That place... wouldn't have been the best place for them.
It's stupid looking back at it, but I found an admirable quality in that dog. Simple, but loving. No one to tell them what to do. [[Freedom->Freedom]] to do whatever they pleased.''SHY''
I wasn't the most talkative back then. I guess that means I've done well for myself because I get told I talk a little bit too much these days.
Still, it was probably just because I liked being left alone. I didn't really like it when people talked to me. I didn't really like it when people looked at me either.
As for why? I'm not really sure how to explain it. The times I have talked to others, I do things or say things that I don't mean to do or say because I lack the patience for it or don't agree with it. I've been suspended for doing those things, and... 'they' really didn't like it whenever I got suspended.
So, it just felt right to be by myself. That way, I wouldn't bother anyone, and that way, I'd be happier.
''FREEDOM''
Sometimes I'd skip out. Usually it'd result in a phone call, but I'd take the brunt of that if it gave me the chance to breathe.
I'd dread coming back [[home,->Home]] but it wasn't really because of what awaited me. It eventually came to the point where they just didn't bother with me if I came home after midnight, thinking I was a [[lost cause.->Lost Cause]] No, rather than that, it was because that feeling of freedom just seemed so fleeting afterwards.''HOME''
I would spend a lot of time in my room.
I'd have headphones on, but sometimes I'd hear things I don't want to hear.
I've thought about how nice it would be to just stop existing, become a part of my room entirely, and not have to move at all anymore.
''LOST CAUSE''
[1] - What are we going to do about her...?
[2] - Huh? What do you mean?
[1] - The school told us she got into another fight, she broke a boy's nose. Huh, what else, I've seen her take your cigarettes out of the cupboard, she keeps skipping classes-
[2] - Just leave her be. Not like she's going to come out that room anyways.
[1] - Wow. Really, that's your response? It's no wonder she turned out this way, and she's not going to get any better.
[2] - Shut up. Don't blame me for everything. She was this way to start with.
[1] - Don't you want to see her graduate?
[2] - Hah. That's a nicer way of saying that you want her out of our hands.
[1] - ...
[2] - Not like we wanted her here anyways, but their [[problem child->Problem Child]] is stuck with us anyways.
[1] - Ugh, I-
[2] - She doesn't even listen to us anyways. She's a lost cause.
''PROBLEM CHILD''
They seemed to be okay with taking me in at first.
Things happened too fast for me. I remember standing all alone in a black dress. I remember it being the last time I ever [[cried.->Cry]]
She hugged me then said they'd love to take care of me.
Now, I'm not so sure if she meant it.''CRY''
There were a few boys who had taken to smoking in my previous spot, and I knew better than to confront them again, because it didn't end well at all. The dog looked very scared of me at that time, and I believe the boys were on good terms with that dog at that point, so it was probably for the best if I let them be.
I figured looking for an empty classroom on the upper floor would do it, since a lot of the older kids would be busy with extraciricular things-- nothing of my concern, really.
I do remember it pretty clearly. That was when I met Nino.
---
I walked into an empty room. The window was already open, and I lit a cigarette.
After a while, I heard someone walking into the room.
"H-huh?! W-who are you?!" She said, her voice almost cracking.
I didn't respond. Just tried to get a bead on her. She was tiny, was the first thing I thought of her when I first saw her. Her hair was short, and ash colored.
"Listen, you can't be... this is my clubroom... I... ugh..."
She started tearing up. I was just so dumbfounded. Was... looking at me enough to make her cry, or something? That was a very stupid thing for me to even fathom, so my curiosity got the better of me.
"...Did I do something wrong?"
She tried to stifle her tears. "Well, aside from smoking in my clubroom, no. No, no no, it's just... Ugh, why should I even bother saying it?! It doesn't matter to you."
"If you're crying about something, it must be important," I said to her.
"..."
She looked down at the floor for a while. I left her in her silence since I already claimed this spot for my own and she wasn't saying anything about it.
After the quiet, she found a seat and started sobbing into the desk. I let her be and I worked on finishing my cigarette.
---
By the time I threw it out of the window, it looked like she was fast asleep. I gently shook her awake.
"...Huh? Ugh, did I... fall asleep?"
Her eyes looked swollen when she turned to look at me. "Yeah."
"W-wait, w-were you watching me this whole time?"
"Nah. Just smoked."
"Wait... You're..."
I remember her falling out of her chair and stumbling back to find her footing. She made a bit of distance from me.
"Ah, oh god, w-w-wait, aren't you, like, that... that underclassman that, like, got suspended?"
"Well, yeah, I've gotten suspended a few times."
"Oh. Uh... well, okay..."
She fell quiet, staring at me.
"Are you... scared of me or something?"
After hearing me and looking like a deer in headlights, she shook her head in a small, quick motion. "N-no. Uh, just surprised."
"Hm. Well, if you're surprised about that, then I'm surprised that you're older than me."
"Huh? What do you mean?!"
"You're tiny."
She cracked a pained half-smile. "Ugh. Yeah, I, uh, I get that a lot."
I let out a giggle. That smile was pretty hilarious-- I can't deny it.
"Hey. Don't laugh."
"Pff- no, I'm not. I'm not."
"Ugh... I'm, uh, going home now, I guess."
"Alright. Bye."
"Uh, what about you?"
"Staying here."
"...Why?" She paused. "Actually, no. No! You shouldn't even be here, this is my clubroom."
"Huh? I didn't see a sign. Besides, I don't remember anyone else coming in."
Nino never did tell me what was going on back then, but I could tell back then that I hit a bit of a sore spot with something because she grabbed and pulled at my shirt hard before reaching her arm up to slap me on the cheek.
"You...! You don't even fucking know anything! I... You... Ugh!"
Just as fast as she tugged at me, she let go, and started to cry again.
"Uh..." I was a bit taken aback, and I nursed my cheek. It didn't really hurt because it was weak. I figured at first she wanted to fight, but then again, it was the first time someone ever hit me first, so I figured it must've been for a good reason. It was also the first time someone hit me and started crying about it. I definitely did something horribly wrong.
"Forget it. Just forget it... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."
"..."
I wish I asked her what that was all about back then, because looking back on it, I think it's something she really should have let out, but I just didn't know how to find the words to do it. God forbid I ask her now if she acted this way about it. Nino can definitely get mad sometimes, but...
...Nevertheless, I let her cry it out again. She seemed to feel a bit better about it after that.
"Well... If it's nothing, then I don't see a problem with me being here," I said.
"...Yeah. It's fine."
"You good with me using this room in the future?"
"Yeah... Be my guest."
She left the room. I couldn't describe what expression was on her face when she did. I stared at the sky out the window as it turned from the afternoon to the evening before heading back myself.
That's how we became friends, I guess? She kept coming back to that room... So our first meeting must've meant something to her.